Attack of the Fan Girls
by Agent Malkere
Summary: A hoard of crazy fan girls is set loose on Academy Island and hilarious chaos insues! No guy shall be spared!
1. Ambush

_**Attack of the Fan Girls **_

_Agent Malkere _

**Disclaimer: I think it's a given that Yu-Gi-Oh GX isn't mine, but incase anyone for some reason forgot I'll say it again: I do not own GX or any of its characters. However I do own the Fan Girls and the Fan Guy (don't ask).**

_A/N: This story was inspired by the fact that The Tye-Dye Trickster has promised to email me Chazz's shirt and I really needed to write something just plain funny. Read at your own peril – this idea was come up with late at night by twisted minds!_

**_Chapter 1: Ambush_**

_Once upon a time on an island far, far away…a hoard of fan girls managed to sneak into the school of their favorite guys and now the ladies are taking over…_

Chazz reached out of the shower and snagged a towel. He was going to ring Jaden's neck the next chance he got – the slacker had used up all the hot water again for the third time this week! He paused in the process of drying his hair and took another look at the towel. That was weird – since when had the Slifer dorm had black towels? Actually, on second thought, after remembering seeing the condition of the washing machine, he didn't want to know the answer to that.

He reached out to grab his clothes from where he'd left them and found … only his boxers? What the- Jaden was so dead this time!!! Pulling them on and wrapping the towel around his waist, Chazz stuck his head out from behind the curtain and glared around the shower room.

"Slacker! What did you do with my clothes?!?"

No response. Usually Jaden would have done something like snickered to give away his position. What the heck?

The door to the outside was cracked open and Chazz padded quietly over to see if the culprit was still nearby.

(outside of the Slifer Red Dorm)

Three girls stood a little ways away quietly giggling. None of them were wearing anything that looked remotely like a Duel Academy uniform and each was carrying a piece of clothing – all of which looked suspiciously like Chazz's, especially the black jacket. They all also had dreamy smiles, the one holding the jacket most of all. The one with the shirt glanced at the girl with the jacket with a slightly annoyed look.

"How come Jess got his jacket?" she grumbled.

"Because sneaking away from the rest of the group and catching him while he was in the shower like that was my idea, Laura."

"Hmph."

The finally girl who was holding a pair of black pants stuck the fabric to her nose and took a deep whiff,

"It smells like-" she began.

"Chazz…" they all said in unison with a sigh, their eyes getting a distinctly fan girl glaze to them.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CLOTHES?!?!?!?"

The girls turned as one to see Chazz standing outside of the shower room door with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Their eyes lit up and Chazz immediately regretted voicing his question.

"CHAZZY!!!" they screamed as one in delight and charged. Chazz stood frozen for a moment in shock,

"Oh dear." Finally his feet took the hint that now might be a good time to leave and he turned on his heel and ran for his life in the other direction, holding the edges of his towel with one hand to keep it from falling off.

"NO! CHAZZY! WAIT, COME BACK!!!"

--

About half an hour later, Chazz stopped and leaned back against a tree glancing around nervously. He had finally lost them and still didn't have his clothes back. They had stolen his jacket! Where was he anyway? Chazz ducked behind the tree as he heard voices coming towards him. No, they couldn't have found him again that quickly, could they? Well, then again, what had started out as a group of three crazy fan girls chasing him had risen to about twenty-five when he had last checked behind him. Maybe they had spread out and where searching the area. No, gods, please don't let them do that!

"Chazz? Is that you?"

"Ack!" Chazz jumped and spun to face the person who had come up next to him, almost losing his grip on his towel. Jaden looked at him in confusion,

"What are you doing out here?"

"And why are you only wearing a towel and boxers?" added Alexis appearing next to Jaden. Chazz felt his face getting hot with embarrassment,

"Uh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Alexis simply raised an eyebrow at him,

"Try me."

"Uh," Chazz felt his face go an even deeper shade of scarlet. "A mob of crazy fan girls stole my clothes while I was having a shower."

Jaden burst out laughing,

"Good one, Chazz! But really, what happened?"

Chazz rolled his eyes,

"I told you that you wouldn't believe me!" he grumbled. Jaden shrugged and changed the subject,

"You haven't seen Winged Kouribo around lately, have you?"

"No, why should I have seen that stupid winged puffball around?"

"No reason, it's just that I haven't seen him all day."

(back at the Slifer Red Dorm)

Chazz stared at his room in horror as Ojama Yellow floated by his shoulder,

"Sorry, Boss, we tried to stopped them but they just ignored us except for one who tried to steal Green!"

The room had been stripped of almost everything, including all of his clothes. He stared at the open closet in despair and then stomped back outside to where Jaden was waiting for him,

"Those idiots! They even took my _socks_!!!"

Jaden wrickled his nose,

"Ew, what would anybody ever want with your socks?" Just then, a girl strolled past below them, she was carrying a pair of socks. She rubbed them against her face and could be heard to be saying to herself quietly, over and over again,

"His socks… I have his socks…."

Jaden and Chazz turned and stared at each other,

"We never mention this to anybody, agreed?"

"Agreed!"

They stood stalk still for several moments and then Chazz slowly stared walking towards the room that Jaden, Syrus, and Hassleberry shared.

"Where are you going?" asked Jaden turning to follow him.

"To raid your closet."

"Hey, you can't do that!"

"Well, what else am I supposed to wear?"

"I don't know – maybe you can barrow something from Atticus."

"Isn't that the winged pompom you were looking for earlier?"

"What? Hey, yeah it is!" Jaden turned to see a very unhappy Winged Kouribo flapping desperately ahead of a group of thirty or so fan girls all with arms out stretched and hearts for eyes.

"WINGED KOURIBO!!! SO CUTE!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!"

Jaden jumped over the railing and ran to cut off the oncoming fan girls, placing himself between Winged Kouribo and them,

"Don't worried Winged Kouribo! I'll save you!"

The girls halted mid stride and stared for a minute as their minds changed the focus of their attention. Winged Kouribo peeked from where it had been hiding behind Jaden's shoulder but only for a moment.

"**_JADEN!!!_**" they screamed in delight and charged forward once more. Jaden stared for a second in wide eyed terror and then his legs took off dragging his body with them.

"Uh oh. HELP!!!"

Back in the Dorm Chazz grinned to himself as he continued to raid Jaden's closet,

"Told you so!"

_A/N: I am taking any requests for names of fan girls in relationship to whichever character ya'll would like. If you tell me, I'll put it in the story! ;P So tell me what ya think and/or name a fan girl and the character she's after!_


	2. Taking over the Island

_A/N: Wow! Thanks for reviewing everyone! All names for fan girls will be used, if not in this chapter, then definitely in a future chapter! ;D Right! Now on with the story! _

**_Chapter 2: Taking over the Island _**

Syrus stared up into the tree with confusion.

"Um, Jaden, why are you sitting in a tree wearing nothing but a towel?"

Jaden jumped slightly, nearly losing his balance, and then looked down,

"Oh, hi, Sy! I'm hiding from the fan girls."

"Fan girls? The only person on the Island who has fan girls is Atticus, so why are you hiding from them? What's the point?"

Jaden sighed and adjusted his position on the branch so he could talk to Sy more easily without having to get down,

"They aren't Atticus's fan girls; I don't think they're even from the Academy! These girls are crazy! Maybe even to the point of suicidal! They mobbed me and some of them even have managed to steal Chazz's jacket!"

"They actually stole his jacket? Wow! I thought that was impossible! You've been trying to do that ever since he got back from North Academy but they succeed in just one try?!?"

Sitting on his branch, Jaden looked rather put out at the mention of this,

"I know. And now they've been chasing me all over the Island along with Winged Kouribo!"

"Gee, you're lucky, Jaden. I wish I had fan girls… but they're always after someone else. I mean, I can't even get a _fake_ love letter, let alone have a fan girl after me."

"Cheer up, Sy. Give it some time. I'm sure by Third year you'll have tons of girls after you."

Syrus looked a little hopeful,

"You really think so?"

Jaden shrugged,

"Sure! Why not? But for now, just be glad _these_ girls aren't after you! They're scary!"

"I sorta wish they'd come back so I could meet them."

"Oh no! Sy, don't say that!" Suddenly the ground began to shake slightly and there was the rumbled of dozens of pounding feet. "ACK!!!" Jaden scurried higher up into the branches of his tree and a denser section of foliage. "Quick, Sy! Climb up! It's safer up here!"

But Syrus wasn't listening, he was watching in amazement as the first of the fan girls breeched the top of the hill. They stopped for a minute and scanned the scene below them. Sudden, one of them began to bounce up and down waving one arm wildly and pointing.

"There he is! There he IS!!!" she squealed excitedly. All the girls let out a gleeful cry,

"SYRUS!!! WE FOUND YOU!!! WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE!!!"

Sy's eyes lit up and he spread his arms wide,

"Ladies!" The girls rushed forward and picked Syrus up, carrying him on their shoulders. He had a grin on face a mile wide. "I've got _fans_!!!"

"WE'VE GOT SYRUS!!!" they yelled and began to run back in the direction they had come from as Jaden watched from his perch in horror.

"It'll be alright, Sy! I'll save you somehow!" he called after their retreating backs.

"Don't worry about it, Jaden! I'll think of something!" Sy called back quickly. One of the girls was patting him on the head and admiring his aqua-colored hair,

"We love you, Sy," she said. Sy grinned dreamily,

"This is the life!"

(outside, back at the Slifer Red Dorm)

"Ugh! I'm probably never going to say this again – but why does the Slacker have to be so short?!?" grumbled Chazz as he inspected his new attire. He'd only been able to grab a few things before another group of fan girls had turned up to strip Jaden, Syrus, and Hassleberry's dorm room as well and Chazz had beat a hasty retreat out a window before he could be spotted. Now, since he'd only managed to grab some of Jaden's clothes not Hassleberry's (which might actually have come closer to fitting him), he was wearing a pair of gray-white pants the legs of which only came to half way down his calves, one of Jaden's spare red jackets which was also too small so several inches of his wrists were sticking out from below the cuffs, and the black towel still wrapped around his waist to hide the fact that, on him, the pants turned into extremely low riders and exposed more of his boxers than he cared for the world to see. Unfortunately, he hadn't managed to grab a shirt before making his quick getaway. His dueling deck, which he had managed to save, was stuffed in the right hand pocket of the jacket. From somewhere to his right, Chazz heard one of the fan girls still outside calling,

"Have any of you seen Bastion?"

"No!" the others inside chorused back. Someone yelled, "Try the Ra dorm again, Lena! I think that's where Noire and Allie are!"

"Good idea! I've been calculating his most likely courses of actions as soon as he found out we were on the Island and he must have come up with a formula to help him avoid us! Maybe it's still in his room!" The fan girl turned around and whipped out a cell phone and a graphing calculator as she ran, her short brown hair flying out behind her and bright blue eyes sparkling behind her glasses,

"Hi, Noire! Lena Cooper here! Is Allie still with you? …Good. Where are you? ...Even better! Listen, I've got a formula I need you two to look for in his room…."

Chazz folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow as he watched the fan girl run off. That was weird – verging on the point of disturbing. He ducked behind a trashcan as the fan girls stampeded out of the Red Dorm, all of them carrying piles of 'treasure' which they had excavated from the unfortunate dorm room. Chazz began to run in the direction opposite of the one the fan girls had gone in.

"Hey, Boss. Whatcha doing?" asked Ojama Yellow, popping up next to Chazz's shoulder as he ran.

"What do you think I'm doing?!?" he snapped, in no mood to deal with the Ojamas right now.

"Huh… stealing Jaden's clothes?"

_Gods, I hate duel spirits sometimes! _

"So, am I right, Boss?"

_Correction – all the time! _

(back to the tree where Jaden had taken refuge from the fan girls)

Jaden slithered out of the tree as best he could without losing his towel and looked glumly in the direction that the fan girls had taken Syrus. This was not good. How was he ever going to get Sy back now?

"Sarge? Hey, Sarge!" Jaden turned to see Hassleberry running towards him, waving.

"Hey, Hassleberry!"

The other boy skidded to a halt next to him,

"They got you, too?"

"Yeah," Jaden nodded, pulling his towel up higher around his hips. "And Sy." He added, glancing sideways at Hassleberry and then did a double take. "Hassleberry, what are you wearing?!?"

Hassleberry grinned proudly,

"Ya like it? After those section eights stole my uniform I grabbed a bed sheet and made myself a toga!"

"Neat! There wouldn't happen to be anymore bed sheets left in our dorm room, would there?"

Hassleberry rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully,

"I dunno. We could check."

As they started to sneak back towards the Slifer dorm Jaden suddenly asked,

"Wait, why do you still have your bandana if you got mobbed?"

"It's ma bandana, Sarge," he replied simply, touching the cloth wrapped around his head protectively.

"So? The fan girls are crazy. They even managed to steal Chazz's jacket and everybody always thought it would take nothing short of murder to separate Chazz from that jacket."

"It's my bandana, Sarge," Hassleberry repeated. "_Nobody_ touches my bandana."

--

After being diverted from their original course, Jaden and Hassleberry found themselves wandering around in the vicinity of the Ra Yellow Dorm without a fan girl in sight. They both let out separate sighs of relief.

"That was close. I was sure we had been spotted for a minute there when we were in the woods by the Lighthouse!" gasped Jaden as he tried to catch his breath. Hassleberry nodded in agreement,

"Too close. I told you abandoning cover there wasn't a good tactical maneuver!"

"Oh, hello there!" a voice hailed them from their left. Both boys jerked up, nearly sprinting for dear life in the opposite direction until they caught sight of who it was.

"Oh, hi, Bastion! What are you doing out here and why haven't the fan girls stolen any of your clothes yet?" asked Jaden, waving at the approaching Ra Yellow student. True enough Bastion appeared to have been completely untouched by the fan girls. Bastion smiled proudly,

"I mapped their movements and created a formula to predict their most probably courses of action."

"Wow! Really?"

"Yes and my calculations this time only have a 0.1 margin of error so I've been able to avoid all the fan girls! We should have about ten minutes before they get here." Just as he said this, however, their was a familiar rumbled and the ground began to shake with the pounding of fan girl feet. Bastions face went pale,

"Of course, I have been known to occasionally err in the past…."

Three fan girls suddenly burst into the clearing. They let out a cheer as they spotted Bastion,

"Bastion! I knew we'd find you once we came up with a counter formula! I'm Lena!"

"I'm Noire!"

"I'm Allie!"

"WE'RE YOUR BIGGEST FANS!!!" they cried in unison.

"And I want to marry you!" added Lena excitedly, beginning to bounce up and down.

"Got to run, see you later Jaden! AAAH!" And with that, Bastion turned on his heel and sprinted away into the woods. The three fan girls flew past Jaden and Hassleberry in hot pursuit.

(outside the Obelisk Blue Dorm)

Zane adjusted his white and blue jacket to a more comfortable position as he stepped outside. He'd been hearing yelling all morning and finally curiosity had gotten the better of him and he was going outside to see what all of the fuss was about. Hmm. He surveyed what he could see of the campus from the bottom of the Blue Dorm's steps. That was odd. There didn't appear to be anyone around. Just as he was about to turn around and head back inside a girl popped up in front of him.

"Zane! I found you! I'm Meil and I love you!" she lunged forward and hugged him hard around the waist.

Zane froze. The girl smiled at him brightly, arms still wrapped around his middle, large eyes glittering with delight,

"Girls, he's over here!" Suddenly an entire battalion of fan girls materialized around him, all bouncing happily up and down,

"WE LOVE YOU, ZANY! NOW WE CAN SPEND THE REST OF ETERNITY WITH YOU!!!" Working together the fan girls picked up the still paralyzed Zane and began to march away from the Obelisk Blue Dorm.

(in Dr. Crowler's office)

From his window, Dr. Crowler watched the chaos unfolding below. He smiled to himself, he was safe up here in his office. None of the fan girls had even thought of going after any members of the faculty yet. This was all very amusing – especially watching Jaden Yuki getting chased all over the Island by a bunch of insane fan girls. Behind him Crowler heard his office door swing slowly open.

"Dr. Crowler?" asked an unfamiliar voice behind him.

"Yes?" Crowler replied without turning away from the window.

"Dr. Crowler, I'm your biggest fan!!!" the voice behind him boomed. Crowler whipped around and suddenly found himself facing six feet five inches of solid muscle all of which belong to one young man who couldn't have been more than twenty. The bodybuilder smiled broadly and happily at him, blushing with the delight of finally being able to meet Dr. Crowler. Crowler finally found his voice,

"GAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

(back to outside the Slifer Red Dorm in the clearing just in front of the woods)

From their perch on a tree branch, Pharaoh and the ghost of Professor Banner watched as a group of fan girls charged by chanting,

"WE'VE GOT SY!!! WE'VE GOT SY!!!" as they hefted a very happy Syrus Truesdale above their heads. Another group of angry fan girls were chasing after them yelling,

"GIVE HIM BACK!!! GIVE HIM BACK!!!"

Banner sighed,

"It is times like this, Pharaoh, that I am very glad that I'm a ghost!"

_A/N: Ooo… much longer chapter:D I don't think I've ever updated something so quickly before! The offer I made at the end of the previous chapter still remains standing and will for the entirety of this fic! So if you want to name a fan girl and who's she's after, just drop me a line! Also, I'd love to hear any suggestions ya'll have for other mischief the fan girls (and fan guy) could get into! Hope to hear from you!_


	3. You Can't Run Forever

_A/N: You guys are all awesome! Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed so far! All requests for fan girls will be fulfilled, if not in this one, then in a chapter in the near future – I promise! Oh, and apologies, I know this isn't a real math formula, but I needed something long and I didn't feel like looking one up in my textbook… Anyway, on with the story!_

_**Chapter 3: You Can't Run Forever **_

Bastion didn't know how long he had been running for; he'd given up on keeping track of time ages ago. Behind him his fan girls were on the brink of exhaustion but determination drove them on. Determination, however, can only go so far; they'd have to stop soon – with or without Bastion. Finally, in desperation, Noire stopped and screamed at the top of her lungs,

"2E pi squared to the power of CXZ cubed multiplied by the root of 13Y to the sixth equals BAC sinX to the fourth divided by cosW to the eighth!!!"

Bastion stopped mid stride as his powerful calculator style brain computed the accuracy of this statement.

"No it wouldn't be," he said turning around and going into lecture mode. "That would only be true if the root of 13Y to the sixth was equivalent to- AAAH!!!" The fan girls, taking advantage of Bastion's stationary position, tackled him before he had the chance to try and run again.

Several minutes later from almost anywhere on the campus Noire could be heard yelling,

"HIS BLAZER!!! I'VE GOT HIS BLAZER!!! IT'S FINALLY MINE!!!"

(approximately half a mile off the coast of Academy Island on Aster Phoenix's yacht)

Aster leaned on the railing and stared out over the calm and quiet ocean as a slight breeze blew his silver gray hair gently against his face. There were definitely some advantages to living on a boat while he was staying at Duel Academy. At the moment, the most noticeable of which being his distinct advantage in being able to avoid the invading fan girls. He'd dealt with a number of fan girls during his pro league dueling career thus far and had discovered fairly early on that water was one of the greatest deterrents of the common fan girl. Besides, if he really wanted to visit the Island for some reason, he could always use the Jet Ski he kept on board.

Unfortunately for Aster what he hadn't yet realized was that these were _not **common**_ fan girls. These were the type of girls who built and lived in shrines to their celebrity crushes and would fight to the death over a pair of _socks_ that that person had once owned. These were of the dangerously obsessive and determined variety of fan girl and a measly half a mile of ocean and deadly rip tides wasn't nearly enough to put them off.

Aster continued to stare out over the ocean, blissfully unaware of the conversation or the activity that was going on in the water under his yacht at that very moment. If one had been tuned to the right radio frequency at that moment this is what they would have heard:

_Static. _

"_This is Star One to Star Leader, Lydia, do you read me? Over." _

"_I read you loud and clear Star One. What is your position? Over." _

"_My unit is in position at the prow, Star Leader. Over." _

"_Good job, Star One. Hold your position. Over." _

"_I copy that, Star Leader. Over." _

_Another brief burst of static. _

"_This is Star Leader to Star Two. Are you in position? Over." _

"_This is Star Two. We're in position, Lydia… I mean, Star Leader. Over." _

"_I copy that, Star Two. Continue to hold your position until the signal. Over." _

"_Right you are. Holding position as ordered, Lyd- Star Leader." _

_Burst of static. _

"_This is Star Leader to Star Units Three and Four. Where the heck are you guys? Over." _

"_This is Star Three. We had a slight problem with the raft but we're in position now. Over." _

"_This is Star Four. We had a double equipment malfunction early on and Jennie had to head back to shore. She'll be waiting for us on the pier when we get back. Over." _

"_This is Star Leader to Star Four. Have you figured out how to cover for your losses? Over." _

"_Yes, Star Leader. We didn't actually need her with us in the first place and its just as well she went back. Over." _

"_I copy that, Star Four. This is Star Leader to all units. Call in and confirm your position." _

"_This is Star One, standing by." _

"_This is Star Two, standing by." _

"_This is Star Three standing by." _

"_This is Star Four, standing by." _

"_This is Star Leader to all units. Commence operation Shooting Star!" _

If Aster or his small crew had been paying any attention, they might have noticed the commando of fan girls wearing camouflage wet suits using suction cup gloves to climbing up the sides of the boat James Bonds style – or maybe it was Mission Impossible style; it was hard to tell. However, nobody was paying attention so none of the boat's occupants ever saw them coming. Except for Aster, who caught a brief glimpse of a redheaded girl before he was knocked out cold. The entire crew was unconscious, gagged and bound within a matter of moments and Aster had been taken below deck to his room and been put to bed and now had five guards watching him in case he woke up and tried to escape. Well, they were supposed to be guarding him, but in actuality, they were sitting and drooling at him and having strange fan girl fantasies.

Above deck, Star Leader – better known to the rest of the world outside of her commando as Lydia – surveyed the yacht and grinned. Beginning to strip off her wet suit she called over her shoulder to the girl who was busily inspecting the yacht's steering mechanisms,

"Alright, good work everybody! Operation Shooting Star is a success! Now let's get this boat turned around and head back to Academy Island!" The fan girl at the controls gave her a thumbs up and revved the engine.

(back on the Island, in the vicinity of the Obelisk Blue Dorm)

Sartorius strolled leisurely along one of the many foot paths which crisscrossed the woods of Duel Academy Island admiring the scenery. There were a few advantages to having been taken over for a while by a super villain energy force determined to take over the world and turn all of earth's people into mindless slaves – it just about eliminated the possibility of having insane fan girls chasing you around all the time. It was wonderfully quiet, out here in the woods, so peaceful. He'd never thought he'd be so glad just to have his own body again.

As he rounded a bend in the path Sartorius paused hearing running footsteps crunching towards him. He turned around and came face to face with a girl with short brunette hair, sparkling blue eyes, and glasses standing in front of him wearing all white. Her face lit up as she looked at him.

"Master Sartorius!" she exclaimed dropping to one knee and bowing her head respectfully.

"I beg your pardon?" asked Sartorius in confusion. Was he supposed to know who this girl was?

"Master Sartorius, I am Kittuna and I have traveled far to finally be able to meet you!" Her face gleamed as she said this, her already sparkling blue eyes taking on the appearance of cut and polished sapphires. The former fortune teller began to slowly back away.

"Well it was very nice meeting you, too. Now if you'll just excuse me I must be going!" He turned and began to walk hurriedly away. Kittuna got up and ran after him.

"No, wait, Master! I have come to join your Society of Light! It has been my only goal ever since I heard about you to see the Light and come and join the Society! I even made my own uniform!"

Sartorius had started to run by now to prevent the fan girl from catching up with him.

"I'm sorry, Miss Kittuna, but you must understand that I am no longer involved in this Society of Light!"

"Oh, I get it! You're trying to test my loyalty, right? Want to make sure that I'll be a truly dedicated member! I'll do anything you ask me to! Anything at all!"

"Please leave me alone!" cried poor Sartorius desperately.

"Except that!"

(somewhere deep in the woods on the Island in one of the many hidden fan girl bases)

A large group of fan girls sat in a circle. One of them had a large pair of scissors and was cutting pairs of black pants into long black strips and handing them to the other girls who tied the strips around their heads like headbands. In the center of the circle, three girls were conversing; one of them was wearing Chazz's black coat and another was holding a long pole upright. The pole had been stuck through the sleeves of Chazz's old Obelisk Blue jacket and then been secured by bits of string to stop the jacket from falling off, making a sort of dark blue flag with hits of white.

"What I'm saying, Hannah is that we should destroy it!" finished the fan girl who was holding the jacket/flag.

"I completely agree, Holly, but how? I mean, we can't just _bury_ that much evil or throw it in the sea!"

"Oh! I know! I know!" cried the girl wearing Chazz's black jacket, bouncing up and down with excitement raising one hand. Holly raised an eyebrow at her,

"Yes, Jess?"

"We could burn it!!!"

Holly sighed,

"Jess, has anyone ever told you that you're a pyromaniac?"

"Uh huh!" Jess nodded, still bouncing up and down. "But you've gotta admit," she added, in a slightly calmer voice, "burning it would be rather appropriate."

All three girls stared down thoughtfully at the bundle of white clothes that had been Chazz's uniform during his time in the Society of Light. Coming to a decision, Holly clapped her hands together to get everybody's attention she announced,

"Alright, girls! Let's get cracking! We're gonna have a bon fire!"

"Yeah!"

"And somebody tie Jess to a tree or something so she doesn't end up setting the entire Island on fire!"

"Ah, come on!"

(down on the beach)

Atticus walked along the beach just above the edge of the tide line, enjoying the feeling of the warm sand between his toes. The waves today were perfect for surfing and when he got tired of that he could Jet Ski! The world was full of possibilities! As he walked into the edge of the surf he heard someone nervously clear their throat behind him.

He turned around to see a thin girl with blonde brown hair staring fixedly at her toes.

"Oh hi! I didn't see you there!" he said cheerfully. The girl's face turned a deep shade of crimson. She smiled slightly still looking uneasy.

"Um, hi. I'm Shirley."

"Nice to meet to meet you, Shirley. I'm Atticus!"

"I- I know."

"Really? Oh, uh…" Suddenly the air was split by the squealing of excited fan girls as they rushed onto the beach. Atticus turned and waved at them, grinning, "Hello, ladies! Calm down, there's enough of me for everyone to share!"

"ATTICUS!!!" they screamed not slowing down one bit and charging into Atticus. Now all that could be seen of Atticus was one arm sticking out over the huddle of fan girls and if one listened very carefully they might have been able to hear faint and muffled cries of:

"Help! Help! I can't breathe down here!!!"

(the Slifer Red Dorm, Alexis's dorm room)

Alexis sat at her desk grinning to herself as she studied. She really shouldn't be enjoying watching her friends running around shirtless as hoards of crazy fan girls chased them all over the Island. But, hey, she was a teenaged girl after all. It wasn't against the law to enjoy the view; hormones had a tendency to make strange sights enjoyable!

With a sigh she closed the textbook she'd been using as she heard someone knock on her door. Probably Jaden or Chazz or Hassleberry seeking refuge from the fan girls in her room. Another of the upsides of this whole ordeal was that with girls chasing guys all over the Island, the regular Duel Academy boys had stopped chasing Alexis – at least for now. It was a really change.

Alexis pulled open her door to reveal a boy she had never seen before. He had sandy blonde hair, hazel eyes, and glasses and was holding a bouquet of red roses.

"Hi, Alexis. I'm Brandon and I-" Alexis slammed the door in his face. Then again, some things never changed.

(the faculty offices near the main dueling arena)

Dr. Crowler sprinted down the hall towards the Chancellor's office. He'd finally managed to temporarily lose the fan guy and this might be his only chance he got to tell the Chancellor his idea.

The Chancellor looked up from the paperwork on his desk as Crowler staggered in and managed to gasp out,

"Little Belowski!"

Looking extremely confused Chancellor Sheppard ask,

"What?"

"Little Belowski!" Crowler repeated, "Use Little Belowski to get rid of the fan girls!"

"Oh! That's a good idea!" Just then the Chancellor's office door burst open as Dr. Crowler's fan guy ran in.

"Villian, my love! I've found you!"

"GAAAAH!!!" Crowler sprinted out of the other door out of Sheppard's office with the fan guy close on his heels.

Sheppard raised an eyebrow as he watched them go.

_A/N: Yes, Villian really is Crowler's first name. Who knew? Anyway, remember – if you want to name a fan girl and who she's after, just drop me a line and it'll go in the story. You can have her after any character you desire, even if I've already used them once because they will be used again in future chapters! Thanks for reading!_


	4. Rescue Attempts

_A/N: Greeting all and thanks once again to everybody who reviewed! I always enjoy getting feed back on my writing! Oh, and I apologize – Crowler's first name is 'Vellian'; I spelled it wrong in the last chapter! Anyway, on with the next chapter! _

_**Chapter 4: Rescue Attempts **_

The students of North Academy sat and watched the screen of the television on the wall of the assembly room with only vague interest. There had been nothing particularly interesting on so far in the news bulletin they were watching and even Chancellor Foster looked to be nodding off. The news, however, was the students' only connection to the rest of the world while they were in school so they kept watching hoping that something slightly less boring would come on. As if hearing their silent request, the smiling broadcaster started to introduce a new report.

"And in other news – today, the world famous Duel Academy was attacked by a herd of wild fan girls. No one is, as of yet, sure how the fans managed to make it onto the Island but the information that has been given out to the press suggests that they somehow managed to swim there. This theory, however, seems highly doubtful. We are lucky enough to have one reporter, Tony Hartford, live on the Island at this very moment. Tony, what's going on over there?"

As the picture displayed on the screen switched to one of an apologetic looking man standing a little ways away from the main entrance of Duel Academy, the North Academy students sat up in their chairs and began to listen intently. After all, Chazz Princeton went to Duel Academy and, even though he had left their school a little over a year ago, he had become a bit of a legend among the students. Not just anybody could arrive out of nowhere, beat every single duelist they had to become the best duelist in the school and then, almost as quickly as he had arrived, leave again. After doing something like that it would have been more shocking if the black-coated duelist hadn't become something of a hero.

The reporter looked incredibly nervous as he began to talk,

"Well, Jim, the only way to describe this situation is chaos. These fan girls are like none I've ever seen before! It's impossible to restrain them! According to various eyewitness accounts approximately four, possibly five, students have been captured and still more are on the run. Not only have the girls struck among the members of the student body but several members of the faculty have also been attacked." As the reporter said this, the doors of the Academy behind him burst open and a tall, bodybuilder-type young man came striding out. He was carrying a thankfully fully clothed Dr. Crowler upside down and hugging his ankles, looking extremely pleased with himself. Dr. Crowler, on the other hand, was clawing at the ground with his hands tarring up clods of dirt and grass in his attempts to escape. The fan guy, spotting the camera, shifted Crowler's feet so that he was holding them with only one arm, and waved cheerfully at the camera crew. The reporter's face went ghastly white.

Just then, possibly due to the change of the fan guy's grasp, Crowler's feet slipped out of his boots and he rolled away. Springing to his feet, Crowler screeched,

"FREEDOM!!!" as he sprinted away as fast as humanly possible. The fan guy looked for a second at the empty boots in his hands, looking very distraught, and then took off after Crowler, yelling,

"Vellian, my love! _Where are you going_???"

The reporter, who looked like he was about to be sick and mentally scarred for life, opened his mouth to continue only to be interrupted again as Chazz leapt down from embankment that the left wall of the entrance was built into and flattened himself against the wall in the shadow created in the corner. He made desperate 'I'm not here' gestures at the reporter who was staring at him with his mouth hanging open. The ground began to shake slightly and the camera turned to face the direction Chazz had just come from.

The fan girls were stampeding towards the wall. All of them wore black headbands tied around their heads and one of the leaders of the pack was carrying the long pole with the coat/flag fluttering and snapping at the end of it as she ran. They were all also shouting with the excitement of the chase but none of what they were saying could be understood because they weren't bothering with talking in unison anymore. The girls came leaping over the wall and thundered passed the terrified reporter, not noticing Chazz hiding against the wall. The general impression of the whole scene was of that of a fox hunt with Chazz playing the part of the fox, the fan girls playing both the parts of the riders and the hounds, and the reporter playing the part of the innocent bystander who accidentally gets trampled to death by the horses.

Chazz pushed away from the wall, leaned forward with his hands on his knees for a couple of moments breathing hard, and then turned, scrambled back up over the wall and sprinted away again in the direction he had just come from. The reporter stared after the teenager's rapidly diminishing form for nearly a minute before slowly, hesitantly, turning back towards the camera, glancing nervously over his shoulder to make sure that nobody else was coming.

"W-well there y-you ha-have it, J-Jim. Th-that's the latest fr-from D-Duel Acad-demy Island," the reporter managed to stutter before fainting.

Standing up, Chancellor Foster turned off the news report. There was dead silence in the assembly room for about two minutes and then everyone burst into a buzz of conversation which mainly consisted of shouting out opinions.

"We've gotta go help Chazz!" yelped one the students above the noise. There was a general sound of agreement from the other members of the Academy except for some of the freshmen who hadn't recognized Chazz Princeton on the television.

"Yeah, we can't just leave him to those fan girls!" Everyone began clamoring at once at the thought of what might happen if they didn't interfere but were immediately quiet as their Chancellor yelled for silence.

"Now I know you all want to help, but I can't allow it! I cannot let you leave this school without a proper chaperone and parent permission!" There was a very glum shuffling of feet as the students heard this. Then, from his seat in the back of the room, the Czar, who was still currently the school's best duelist, called out with his thick Russian accent,

"But Chancellor Foster! Doesn't Miss Dorothy still work at Duel Academy?"

Foster froze and thought for a moment, then thrust one hand into the air index finger raised,

"I'll get the submarine!"

(back on Duel Academy Island in an open field where a group of miscellaneous fan girls are relaxing)

Little Belowski looked doubtfully at the girls and then at the Chancellor standing next to him.

"I'm sorry, dude, but this is totally unchill."

"Please, just make them fall asleep so that they can be removed!" begged Chancellor Sheppard.

"Well, alright, dude. If that's what you really want…"

"Thank you!"

The semi Obelisk Blue student began to walk leisurely towards the girls, sorting through his deck in search of his little buddies, the Mokie-Mokies. When he was about ten feet away one of the fan girls sat up and looked at him, then turn to a couple of other girls beside her and drawled,

"Dude! It's Belowski!" Seven other girls sat up to see if this was, indeed, the case. They were all wearing tie-dyed t-shirts, raggedy faded jeans, and sandals. Slowly they stood up and wandered over to form a semicircle around Belowski.

"Hey, dude. We came to chill out with you and discuss deep issues, man," drawled a different girl from the one who had first spoken. Belowski grinned at them,

"Cool, dudes. We can go over there." The group wandered slowly towards the shade of a small stand of trees. Chancellor Sheppard sighed and put his face in his hands,

"Now what am I supposed to do?"

(somewhere in the woods near Obelisk Blue)

Kittuna, Sartorius's one and only fan girl, sat against a tree and sniffed. Not only had Sartorius managed to lose her, but she'd found out that he was no longer evil!!! This was horrible! How could anything like this have possibly happen?!?

Sniffing again miserably, Kittuna leaned her head back against the tree trunk behind her. What was she going to do? A thought came to her. This was all Jaden Yukki's fault! He would pay for turning Sartorius away from the Light!!! But how? She frowned in concentration and then a nasty smile lit up her features as she came up with a truly evil idea. Standing up, Kittuna put her hands on her hips, threw her head back, and laughed, "Bwahahahahaha! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Turning to head towards the Slifer Red Dorm, she continued grin to herself,

"I shall save you, Master Sartorius! I've worked on my evil laugh too hard to let it go to waste!"

(somewhere else in the woods, between the Ra and Slifer Dorms)

Sartorius hurried along the path glancing occasionally back over his shoulder to make sure that that fan girl wasn't following him again. This was the last thing he needed – a fan girl chasing him around who was obsessed with the Society of Light! He had just wanted some peace and quiet for a few days so that he could just enjoy being himself again before returning to the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently.

It was during one of his longer glances behind him that Lena came around the corner of the path ahead of him heading in the opposite direction, towards the Ra Dorm. She was en route to retrieve some more supplies and was bouncing along the path despite the fact that she had had to temporarily leave Bastion's side. The reason for her high spirits was that she was wearing Bastion's pants a like a sort of miniature cape with a leg over each shoulder, then crossing across her chest, and tied behind her back.

Sartorius let out a yelp as he turned around to see her coming towards him, but then paused for a moment,

"Wait a minute; you're not wearing white any more."

The Bastion fan girl frowned at him,

"White? Why would I be wearing white? I hate white!" She suddenly got a dreamy, faraway look on her face. "I much prefer yellow!"

Sartorius looked very confused,

"Aren't you Kittuna?" he asked.

"What? _Oh!_ I get it! Nope, I'm Lena. Kittuna's my identical twin sister! She's really weird, though. If we weren't identical, I'd think she was adopted!"

"Oh. I see."

(some where else yet again in the woods of Duel Academy Island)

Jaden zigzagged cautiously through the trees. He'd been separated from Hassleberry nearly half an hour ago when a dozen girls, who all could have easily passed themselves off as ex-marines despite the fact that the oldest among them couldn't have been more than eighteen, had managed to get in between himself and Hassleberry and then herded the younger boy in another direction.

The Slifer leaned against a tree to rest. He was exhausted, though, he hadn't had to run very much since he and Hassleberry had run into Bastion. Jaden began to sink to the ground but sprang back to his feet as he heard footsteps crunching towards him. However, he needn't have bothered because as the owner of the footsteps rounded the bend in the path, his knees buckled and he collapsed, pitching forward to lie face first in the dirt. Jaden hurried over to the other boy's side.

"Hey, Chazz, are you alright?"

Slate gray eyes glared up at him sarcastically,

"Well let's see, Slacker, all in less than twenty-four hours: I've had my clothes stolen, my bedroom stripped of nearly everything I owned, been forced to resort to wearing _your_ clothes, and have been running from fan girls for nearly three hours straight – part of which was caught on tape and is probably being broadcasted on national news as we speak. So, yeah, I feel just _great_."

"Oh, good! I'm glad to hear that! If it were me, I'd be kinda annoyed, personally!" Jaden grinned obliviously, the sarcastic tone going right over his head. Chazz glowered at him and pulled himself up so that he was leaning on his elbows. He glanced around at the trees over head,

"Where the heck are we anyway?"

"Uh…" Jaden thought for a minute. "I dunno. I was sorta hoping to run into to somebody who did."

"Great, just great," grumbled Chazz under his breath. Far over head, the sun was beginning to sink towards the horizon line and in the forest around the two boys, shadows were beginning to stretch and darken as the afternoon slowly blended into evening. Jaden, who had never been noted for being particularly observant, finally noticed what the other duelist's attire.

"Hey, wait a minute! That's my blazer!"

"My, how perceptive of you, Slacker! It's only taken five minutes to notice!"

"But why are you wearing my blazer?" asked Jaden stoically, ignoring the insult. He began to laugh, "You never wear color, let alone red!"

"I was going to raid your closet before you ran off to save that stupid winged pompom of yours, remember?"

"Uhhhh… nope! No, I don't! But I would like my jacket back."

"No way, Slacker." Chazz folded his arms across his chest.

"Ah, come on, Chazz!" Jaden whined. "It's _my _blazer and I've been running around with nothing but a towel and bowers on all day!"

"Not my problem."

This went on for quite some time and the two were so busy arguing that neither of them noticed the solitary fan girl walking slowly up to them. Jaden halted in the middle of tackling Chazz as he spotted her and simply stared, unsure what to do.

"What is it, Sla- Uh oh." The boys stood frozen, waiting to see what the girl would do. Putting her hands on her hips the fan girl looked thoughtfully between the two and then walked over to Chazz. He eyed her suspiciously. She stopped and then, with no warning whatsoever, kicked him as hard as she could in the ankle.

"YEEEOWCH!!!" yelp Chazz hopping on one foot so that he could rub the offended limb. "What the heck was that for?!?!?!?!?"

"You should be nicer to Jaden," the fan girl said primly, and then turned and latched herself onto Jaden, her arms wrapped around his chest so tightly that he could barely breathe. "I'm Rebecca," mumbled the girl, "and I love you, Jaden Yukki!!! And I'm never going to let go of you again!!!"

Jaden was fairly certain that he could hear his ribs begin to groan and crack under the constriction of the girl's hold.

"Uh, Chazz?" Jaden managed to wheeze. "A little help here?"

(under the shade of a small group of trees next to the open field where fan girls had been relaxing earlier)

Little Belowski and the girls in tie-dyed t-shirts were sitting in a circle under the trees. Somebody had found a guitar and was now strumming on it gently. Also sitting in the circle was the news reporter and his camera crew. The reporter was still looking rather pale as Belowski talked to him,

"I mean, dude, you've gotta chill out more. Gotta be one with the universe, know what I mean?"

One of the cameramen was dozing on his equipment case. The corner of the reporter's left eye was twitching slightly and he didn't notice as a fly landed on his nose. The fly's wings drooped and it began to snore.

"You- you really th-think it would help?"

"Totally, dude."

_A/N: Remember, if you've got a fan girl you want included and/or a suggestion for some mischief the fan girls could get into, just drop me a line! Thanks for reading!_


	5. Run for Your Life!

_A/N: (waves) Hi everybody! Sorry it's taken me so long to update – I've been sick:( But now I've got Kaiba's socks and am feeling much better! (Thank you Tie-Dyed Trickster!) Wow!!! Thank you to everybody who reviewed:D I luf you gals (and guys)! OK, quick note, I was asked if the boys from season 3 would be joining the chaos – unfortunately, no. I have only seen seasons 1 and 2 so far. Anyway, enough author's note! On with the story:D _

**_Chapter 5: Run for Your Life! _**

Zane scrambled over the wall in front of the abandoned dorm and sprinted across the open space, jumping the wall on the other side like a hurdle. He knew they'd be after him any second now. The composure which Zane Truesdale had always prided himself on maintaining at all times had cracked a long while back – somewhere in between being constantly called 'Zany' or, worse still, 'Zanikins' and some freakish fan girl having the audacity to _kiss_ him. By now, the panic he was feeling might even be starting to show up on his face! At least they hadn't managed to strip him down to boxers and a towel – Zane was still wearing his pants and shoes.

He paused for a moment to catch his breath, wiping a little sweat from his forehead with the back of one hand.

"There you are!" Zane jumped at the shout and spun around in time to see a girl dressed all in black jump nimbly over the wall next to him, landing noiselessly on the forest floor. She bowed slightly as she stood up. Much to his annoyance, Zane discovered that he had frozen again.

The fan girl was carrying a large black bundle with her proudly and offered it to him on out stretched eager hands.

"I found this again for you! You look way hotter in black anyway! I even managed to find the Underworld Deck again!!!" She was smiling broadly and Zane had gone so pale that he was nearly transparent. The mere mention of the 'Underworld Deck,' however, was enough to jump start the eldest Truesdale's legs again and there was practically a sonic boom as he took off, legs moving so fast that they were a blur.

"No, wait!!! Come back!!!" shouted the fan girl running after him. "I want to be your Kaiseress!"

(on the beach near the cliffs in the spot where Atticus normally goes surfing)

A fan girl wearing a Hawaiian print shirt that was too large for her sat on the warm sand leaning against the hard rock surface of the cliff face happily strumming the ukulele she had procured from Atticus's dorm room and watched the other fan girls argue. She plucked a few more notes and sighed shifting to find a slightly more comfortable position. Another fan girl who was running to join the arguing mob paused a moment in front of the girl on the sand.

"Hey, Becky, aren't you going to join in?"

From her seat against the rock, Becky looked up at the other fan and smiled contentedly.

"I've got his shirt. I've got his ukulele. I don't need his arm to go with it."

(approximately twenty feet away in the center of the mob of squabbling fan girls)

"He's mine!!!"

"No, he's mine!!!"

"Mine!!!"

"Mine!!!"

"I saw him first!"

"No you didn't!!!"

"Yeah, I saw him first!"

"No, I did!!!"

"Mine!!!"

"Mine!!!"

"Mine!!!"

"MINE!!!"

_They sound like demented seagulls_, he thought as one fan girl gave another a bloody nose for no apparent reason. Atticus felt like everyone's favorite toy – or, more accurately, everybody's favorite tug-a-war rope. It seemed like every fan girl had a hold of a different part of his body or clothing and was pulling him in a different direction.

Staring up at the sky over head, Atticus yelled as loudly as he could,

"Whoever it was, that I did whatever I did to, to make me deserve this – I'm really, REALLY sorry!!!"

(below deck on Aster Phoenix's yacht in his bedroom)

The silver haired duelist muzzily opened one eye and then the other. That was weird… why was he in his cabin? The last thing Aster remembered he had been on deck looking at the sea. Maybe he had fallen asleep and one of his crew members had brought him down, though, that didn't seem like they would do.

He tried to sit up but immediately stopped at the horrible woozy sensation this caused in his head. Uhg! What had hit him? He felt absolutely terrible! Aster settled for rolling his head to one side to get a better look at the rest of his room. Suddenly, as he began to move again, a huge face loomed over him.

"Aster, baby, you're awake!!!"

The only response poor Aster could manage was: "AAARGH!!!"

(outside of the Slifer Red dorm)

Jaden stood miserably outside of the dorm and concentrated on trying to breathe as he waited. The fan girl, Rebecca, was still latched around his chest crushing his ribs and giggling quietly and creepily to herself every so often. It had taken nearly an hour to get to the dorm handicapped so. If he'd been physically capable of it, Jaden would have sighed with relief when he finally saw Chazz return limping from around the corner of the Slifer building sporting a crowbar. The boys had tried several ingenious – and several more not so ingenious – ways of attempting to remove Rebecca from Jaden already but thus far nothing had come even close to being able to extract Jaden from his fan girl's embrace.

Chazz applied the crowbar and began to pry apart the girl's arms with a malicious smile that said 'This is for making me limp for the past hour and a half!' Finally the fan girl came off with an audible 'pop.' She stood looking confused and dismayed. Apparently uncertain of what to do next, the girl stumbled slowly away in a state of shock. Clutching at his bruised ribs Jaden let out a sighing gasp of relief.

"Thanks, Chazz!" Jaden flopped to the ground massaging his chest.

"Whatever, Slacker."

The two Slifers sat in a less uncomfortable than normal silence for several minutes not realizing that more trouble was hot on their trail dressed all in white and carrying a double headed battle ax – literally. It was anyone's guess where Kittuna, loyal fan girl of the Society of Light Sartorius, had managed to find a battle axe on Academy Island, but found one she had and she was out for revenge. Not only was she out for revenge, but Kittuna wasn't alone anymore. She was now joined by Karin and Kate who were also both dressed all in white and wielding deadly weapons – well, in a manner of speaking. While Karin had a climbing ax, Kate was carrying a packet of decaf coffee which, she had said to the others' skeptical looks, her mom had told her was the deadliest and most evil weapon in the world. Neither of the others had felt like arguing this point.

"CHARGE!!!" yelled Kittuna as she finally spotted Chazz and Jaden catching their breath in the long shadows being thrown by the dorm building. The boys jumped but were too sore to be able to run, though they did attempt extremely fast limping. The white clad fan girls, however, were too fast for them and they were soon surrounded.

"Now," announced Kittuna. "You shall pay for the wrongs you have done to the Society of Light! You shall be…" she paused dramatically, "thrown to your fan girls!!! Mwahahahahaha!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Jaden and Chazz started at her in horror but Karin and Kate just nodded appreciatively at the impressive display of diabolical laughter.

"She's mental," mutter Chazz.

(in some random open clearing on Academy Island)

"WE'VE GOT SY!!! WE'VE GOT SY!!!" A new group of Syrus fan girls rushed passed baring the newly stolen Sy aloft.

Two other very annoyed but separate groups of fan girls ran after the girls carrying Syrus with intermittent yells of, "Give him back!!!" and "We had him first!!!"

(on a path in the woods a good distance away from the Ra Yellow dorm)

Bastion ducked quickly behind a tree as he heard footsteps coming. Well, actually, to be accurate – something which Bastion had always prided himself on being – it was two sets of footsteps and coming from different directions. At least one set, the Ra student suspected, belonged to Noire, Allie, or Lena, but the second set wasn't running so he highly doubted it was one of them as well.

Sure enough Allie was the cause of half the pounding and in her rush, she ran straight into the second person on the path. The other person was a tall thin nineteen year old girl with straw colored hair pulled back into a pony tail. She was wearing a classy, fitted dark suit and a pair of sunglasses.

"Oh, hi," said the younger fan girl straightening up. "I'm Allie. Who are you?"

"The name's Bond," said the girl, pulling her shades half way down her nose and peering over them, "Jane Bond. You may have heard of my brother."

"James?"

"No! Dean! Why would I have a brother named James?"

Allie looked thoroughly confused but soldiered on anyway.

"So are you here after?"

"The Headmaster of the Ra dorm," said Jane looking dreamy.

"You're after the Headmaster of the Ra Yellow dorm???"

"Yes! He's so… undercover!!!"

(under a tree at the edge of the woods near the Slifer dorm)

A small group of fan girls stood under the tall tree in a tight cluster.

"Come on, we know he's in there!"

"Yeah, spit him out!"

Pharaoh merrowed as one of the fan girls shook him.

"Spit out Professor Banner already!!!"

"Poor Professor Banner!"

"Let him out!" The girls glared at the cat. Suddenly a small brunette girl burst through the circle and snatched Pharaoh from the other girl's hands.

"Don't do that to poor Pharaoh!" she cried and sprinted away towards the woods with the cat in her arms. "It's alright, Pharaoh," she whispered as she ran. "I'm Onaca! I'm here to rescue you!"

As the girls disappeared into the forest, a small ball on light floated to the other side of the branch it had been hovering behind.

"Oh dear. That was close!"

_A/N: I think in the series Pharaoh is actually a female but for this fic Pharaoh is a boy so he can have fan girls! To the requested Chazz and North Academy fan girls – I promise they will be in the next chapter (which will also be longer)! I have a really good idea but it didn't work in this chappie… Anyway, remember if you have a name of a fan girl and who you'd like her to be after, just drop me a line:P Thanks for reading!!!_


	6. Out of Breath

_A/N: Thank you to everybody who reviewed!!! Y'all rock and have given me some awesome ideas! I am SO SORRY that I haven't updated in… well the precise amount of time is just too depressing to even think about so I'll just say a really long time! My life's been chaotic to say the least! Now – on with the story! _

_**Chapter 6: Out of Breath **_

From his perch high in the branches of a particularly tall tree, Bastion scanned the area for any telltale signs of approaching fan girls. Dusk was settling like a thick blanket over the Island and blurring shapes and colors together, but it seemed safe enough to say that there were no fan girls in the near vicinity. With a sigh the exhausted Ra Yellow student leaned back against the trunk of the tree and stretched his shoulders. In the morning he'd have to come up with another formula for avoiding Lena, Allie, and Noire but now what he needed was sleep – which was going to be awkward considering Bastion was going to be doing it in a tree.

As he shifted to try and find a more comfortable position, Bastion was nearly startled off of his branch as he heard several of the lower limbs jostling. No! They couldn't have found him! …Could they?

"There you are!" Bastion froze and then blinked in confusion. Hold on, that hadn't sounded like any of the maniacs who were after him and that comment didn't seem to have been directed at him. In fact, it had almost sounded like… no…

Bastion peered down through the semi-dark and caught sight of a pale hand tugging at the edge of what looked like a card which was wedged beside a bird's nest. The rest of Sartorius soon joined his hand on the branch as the former leader of the Society of Light mumbled a series of foul curses aimed at birds and unnecessarily tall trees. About half a deck of rather battered looking taro cards were protruding from the pocket of his blazer. Sartorius let out a sigh of relief as the card finally came free and Bastion raised an eyebrow.

"What, exactly, are you doing?" Sartorius jumped guiltily and there was a brief whirling of limbs as he hastily tried to regain his balance, ending up with Sartorius hanging upside down with his arms and legs wrapped tightly around the branch above him. He gave Bastion a sheepish grin.

"Well, I know I said I wasn't going to try to predict the future anymore but, well, after running for several hours I started thinking that it would be nice to know where they were going to be ahead of time and… so far I've found nearly half my deck…." He trailed off looking uncomfortable. Bastion thought this over for a moment, then an idea sprang into his head and began jumping up and down to get his attention. The Ra student's face brightened noticeably.

"Listen, if I help you find the rest of your cards, will you predict where my fan girls are going to be, too?"

"If you'd like."

Bastion began to scramble down from his perch.

"Well don't just hang there! It's almost dark and we've got cards to find!"

(on the path back to the Red Dorm from the main building, just outside the Slifer building)

Alexis strolled down the path towards the Slifer Dorm on her way back from the main Academy building a pair of binoculars bouncing around her neck. Yes, it was true – Alexis Rhodes was taking every possible advantage of the situation. Her defense was that at least she wasn't taking pictures like Jasmine and Mindie were. All in all, other than the one fan guy who had shown up her door, this was turning out to be quite enjoyable!

Not really paying attention to her surroundings, Alexis pulled opened her dorm room door and stopped, blinking in surprise. _I spoke too soon. _

Her entire room was filled with bouquet upon bouquet of dark red roses. There had to be seven dozen roses at least. How the heck had someone smuggled _seven dozen roses_ onto Duel Academy Island? Not even Chazz had managed that before and Alexis was fairly sure that he had tried.

In the center of it all on a chair by Alexis's bed sat a fan boy with bright green eyes and black hair. There was a guitar balanced on his knee and as Alexis opened the door he strummed a few chords, quickly making it apparent that the last time the instrument had been tuned had been around 1802, before starting to sing almost equally out of tune,

"_L, is for the way you lo-_"

(approximately twenty seconds later outside of Alexis Rhodes's dorm room window)

There was huge smash as the fan guy sailed through the window landing on the grass below in a shower of glass. He sat up blinking and rubbing his head in confusion, apparently unable to grasp what he had done wrong. His guitar faithfully followed him out of the window about five seconds later and smacked into his head with a resounding _THWANG_ as several strings snapped.

Alexis leaned back from the window dusting her hand off, a very uncharacteristic and satisfied smirk on her face. She hadn't felt like opening the window… it had been extremely enjoyable. What was this? Alexis Rhodes? Sadistic? Never!

Glancing thoughtfully at the roses, she sat down on the edge of her bed, her chin in one hand elbow resting on her knee. The roses… the roses could stay. Alexis like roses.

_A/N: Sorry about how short this chapter is! At this point I'm just trying to get it posted! I'll try to fill all fangirl requests in the next chapter! Seek peak chapter title: Chapter 7: __**Never Fear, North Academy is Here! **__ Thanks for reading!_


	7. Never Fear, North Academy is Here!

_**Chapter 7: Never Fear, North Academy is Here! **_

The waves that had been gently lapping against the side of the docks in the early morning sun were suddenly disturbed by a great upwards rush of bubbles from below. For a few moments nothing more happened and then in an abrupt upwelling of sea water the North Academy submarine broke through the surface. A muffled cheer could be heard coming from inside of the vessel. Metal squeaked as the hatch was slowly lifted and a pair of eyes peered through the inch wide crack darting back and forth in search of any signs of danger. The eyes disappeared again and the top hatch was flung wide.

"All clear, boys! Come on up – we've got a school to save!" shouted Chancellor Foster, bounding out onto the out deck of the sub. There was another reverberating cheer from deep within the bowels of the submarine and the North Academy boys poured out of their unusual means of transportation and onto the waiting Duel Academy docks. The students were soon on land, eager to start their rescue mission – so eager, in fact, that they failed to notice the strangely large number of trashcans which were sitting around.

While the Czar was busy rallying is fellow students, Chancellor Foster beat a hasty and surreptitious retreat in the direction of Duel Academy's main building and card shop where Miss Dorothy should still be on duty. After all, he had every confidence that his young duelists could take care of themselves just fine on their own. Oh how wrong he was.

No sooner than the lovesick chancellor was out of sight than one of the trashcan lids stealthily cracked open. There was a faint rustling and then a quiet series of taps that almost sounded like Morse code pinged against the metal side of the can. The same pattern of tapping was spread from one trash bin to another until every unit had been relayed the message.

Just as the North Academy boys were about to strike out in search of Chazz they were startled by a loud clattering as the top burst off the trashcan which had begun the relay of Morse code. They spun around to see a broad shouldered girl wearing a padded orange and brown vest very similar to the Czar's leap out of the afore mentioned bin and land in a crouch, broad smile on her face. Straightening up, she took a deep lungful of air yelled in a thick Russian accent,

"_ATTACK!!!_"

(Somewhere in Duel Academy forest, well away from anywhere relevant)

Jaden and Chazz eyed Kittuna uneasily as the leader of the Society of Light Sartorius fan girls fidgeted with her huge battle ax. She'd been doing that ever since they'd run into a couple of Bastion's fan girls nearly half an hour ago and Chazz had the uneasy feeling that she might slip over from merely being psycho to homicidal at any minute.

"I think we're lost," announced Karin suddenly, letting her pick ax slide down from its place slung over her shoulder to swing ideally by her side. Kittuna's left eye twitched.

"No, we aren't!" she snapped, her clutch on her battle ax handle becoming a white knuckled death grip. "I know exactly where we are! The goody-two-shoes' fans are around here _some_where!"

"Darn right we are!" shouted a voice from the tree overhead. "DEATH FROM ABOVE!!!" Five heads snapped up in time to see a figure spring from the tree branch they'd just walked under and tackle Kittuna in a flying, midair tackle, somehow managing to avoid her swinging ax blade. A brief struggle ensued involving an unfair three against one scenario, but exactly whom it was unfair for was rather hard to tell. Shoving Chazz hard in the center of the chest in her eagerness to join the fray, Karin neither noticed nor cared as the black haired Slifer landed heavily on his back, breath momentarily knocked out of him. Kate, too, also impatient to put her packet of instant coffee to use in the fight, pushed Jaden out of her way, sending the shorter boy sprawling. The burnet landed on all-fours, eyes clenched tight shut in previous anticipation for the impact.

Slowly opening one eye, then the other, Jaden blinked in surprise when he found a pair of wide, startled, slate gray eyes staring directly at him from only a few inches away. Jaden had somehow managed to land with his hands planted on either side of Chazz's head and his legs stratling the taller teen's waist. Their faces were so close that the slightest bob of Jaden's head would have made the tips of their noses brush. Chazz's normally stoic ad emotionless features were flushed a deep crimson with embarrassment.

Before either boy could move from this compromising position, however, there was an incredibly bright flash and then a loud CLICK. And then another and another and another. As Jaden attempted to blink away the multi-colored spots which were dancing before his eyes, a new voice started chatter excitedly.

"I knew it! I _knew_ it! You guys just looked way too hott together to be straight!" The commentary was punctuated by yet another brilliant flash of light. "And uke Chazz, too! Aw, man! I'm just _loving _this! This is almost better than incest!"

"What the _hell?!?_" Chazz yelped, finally gaining enough awareness to shove Jaden off, his face still burning firey red as he sat up. Standing over them was a girl of about medium height with straight, dirty-blond hair and long bangs that flopped nearly to her eyebrows. Clutched in her hands was a large, expensive digital camera, the strap of which was hung around her neck. A brilliant smile was illuminating her face like a supernova as she continued to rant.

"Hey, it's okay – your being gay is awesome! This totally my day! I _live_ for yaoi! Oh, I'm Anna by the way. Now if only I could get some shots of Zane and Atticus…." The girl trailed off thoughtfully.

"Woah! Hold on a minute! I am **NOT** _gay_!!!" Chazz all but shouted. This was _not_ a good way to start the morning.

"Yeah," Jaden interjected, enthusiastically, "Chazz is never happy _or_ cheerful if he can avoid it!" There was a sudden silence. Even the fight between the mysterious attacker and Sartorius's fan girls momentarily halted as the three girls paused to gaped at the oblivious Jaden.

"_Please_, tell me he _didn't_ actually _mean_ that!!!" groaned Kittuna. There was no response. "God! How could that _IDIOT_ have defeated Master Sartorius?!?" she all but shrieked in frustration, before swinging her battle ax at the head of the fourth member of the fight again. The ruckus began once more. Jaden turned anxiously to Chazz who was resting his face in the palm of his hand. The shorter boy rubbed the back of his neck and grinned uncomfortable.

"What is it? Did I say something wrong?"

"Slacker, when she implied that we were gay, she did not mean that we were happy," Chazz stated slowly and as evenly as possible, as if talking to a five year old. "She meant that we liked guys."

Jaden continued to stare at the black haired Slifer with wide confused eyes.

"But I like everybody."

Chazz groaned and hid his face in his hands again,

"Why me?"

(Near the coastline of Duel Academy Island, by the lighthouse at the top of a very tall tree)

"Any sign of him yet?"

"Nope."

"How about now?"

"Still nothing." The second speaker let out a long suffering sigh as her impatient companion pouted sullenly for a moment before brightening again.

"Can I have a look?"

"_No_."

"Aw, why not?" whined the girl tossing her wavy reddish brown hair over one shoulder as she continued to swing her legs back and forth with barely suppressed energy.

"Because when Aravis let you use her binoculars you broke them when you attempted the throw them at the head of one of those crazy Syrus fan girls as they went running by," snapped the girl sitting next to her who was peering through a pair of military field glasses.

"But _Chloe_-!"

"For the last time, Kitty – NO!"

Kitty crossed her arms across her chest again and started to pout once more, scooting a little farther away from Chloe on their tree branch.

"Oh, no way…," murmured Chloe under her breath. Kitty perked up immediately, her pout momentarily forgotten.

"What? What is it?" she asked eagerly, leaning so far forward on the branch in her attempt to spot what Chloe had seen that she nearly toppled off. Chloe grabbed the back of the other girl's shirt and hauling her back up without once taking her eyes away from the binoculars.

"The North Academy boys are here," she announced, voice thick with disgust. Kitty's eyes widened and then she scrunched up her nose as Chloe continued. "Shoot! What if they find him before we do?! We'll never be able to get to him then!"

"Well," Kitty turned to her partner in fan girlism, a large, evil, sadistic smile spreading its way across her face, "We'll have to just… _distract_ them before they have the chance to find our Chazzy then… won't we?" Kitty's eyes were practically glowing a demonic red by now.

The contagious, malevolent smile branched over to Chloe and tugged up the corners of her mouth. "I like the way you think, Kitty."

This scheme called for a bout of evil laughter and both fan girls threw back their heads to comply to the urge.

"_BWAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BWAHAHAHA_- Oops!"

Chloe grabbed the back of Kitty's shirt again as her fellow fan girl nearly fell off of her perch on the tree branch once more.

"How about we wait until we're on the ground to finish our round of evil laughter?"

"Good idea."

(In the main Duel Academy building, en route to the card shop)

Chancellor Foster crept down the abandoned Duel Academy halls, prepared to dart for cover at the first sign of life. Thankfully, though, classes had been cancelled due the fan girls who were still running wild and unchecked across Academy Island assaulting students and most of the teachers had taken refuge in places that weren't their usual haunts to make it less likely that they would be found. The chancellor smiled to himself. This was all going perfectly. He was nearly halfway across the building, completely undetected. He'd be talking to the lovely Miss Dorothy within the next ten minutes just as long as he didn't run into-

"Foster?!?" Chancellor Foster jumped guiltily and spun around, straightening up from his half crouch to face Sheppard. "And just what do you think you're doing here?"

Foster straighten himself up further still attempting to use his height to his full advantage and tried to put on an air of distain.

"I am going to the card shop."

Before he could speed away down the hall and make good his escape, Chancellor Sheppard stepped directly into his path arms folded across his chest. He glared at the North Academy chancellor.

"She doesn't want to see you."

"Oh, really?"

"Really."

"Really?"

"Really!"

"_Really?!_"

Suddenly Sheppard held up his hands, "Stop. We're acting like students."

"You're right," Foster reluctantly agreed. "We should be dealing with this like the mature, adult men we are."

Silence hung thickly in the air as the two chancellors thought about this. Then in perfect synchronization they glared at each other directly in the eye, raised their right hands, pointed at each other and shouted in unison,

"THIS MEANS _WAR!!!_"

(outside of the Slifer Red dorm underneath the second floor porch)

Aster Phoenix leaned back against the wall behind him and gasped for breath, pushing wet silver strands of hair out of his face. He'd never known he could swim that fast. The protégée duelist rubbed his bare upper arms, trying to regain some heat through friction. His feet ached from having to run this far over the uneven terrain barefoot but it was more than made up for by the fact that he'd at least temporarily managed to evade his rabid fan girls who were so psychotic they were practically foaming at the mouth. Aster glanced at the underside of the porch above him. He was almost there! Forcing his quivering muscles into motion, Aster mounted the stairs and dragged himself up with a great deal of help from the banister.

_Please let Jaden be there… Please let Jaden be there… Please just let somebody, anybody, who could help me be there!_ Grabbing the knob of the door to the room Jaden, Syrus, and Hassleberry shared, the young silver haired duelist turned it and pulled the door back gently. Aster peeked around the edge of the door warily. His jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out.

The room had been given a complete makeover. Candles in ornate holders lined the edges of the bunk beds and covered the desk – flickering ever so slightly is the draught Aster had created by opening the door. Around the desk, placed with reverent care were all of Jaden's school supplies, notes for class, and socks, and above the desk illuminated by the candle light a huge color poster of Jaden himself standing in his trademark 'that's game' pose. Kneeling in the center of the room were two fan girls completely dressed in Jaden's clothing. Aster had the uneasy feeling that they had probably gone even so far as to put on his rival's underwear. The girl on the right began to speak.

"Oh, great Jaden. Oh, marvelous, illustrious Jaden, god of sex. It is I, your humble servant, Sarah."

"And I," the other intoned, "your ever loyal follower, Jean."

They continued to speak, now in perfect unison.

"We come before you today, though we are mere unworthy mortals, to ask that you bestow on us the honor of your presence that we might worship and give homage to you properly. We offer you our virginity and our first bourns-"

Aster hastily shut the door and took off down the stairs, no longer caring how much noise he made. Oh, the mental scarring!!! Creepy and weird didn't even _begin_ to cover it!!!

(On the other side of the island somewhere in the woods near the Obelisk Blue dorm)

Zane eyed the hoard of drooling fan girls unhappily, but he was out of options – they had him surrounded. The faintest sheen of sweat began to form on his on his brow. This was not good.

The ominous silence was abruptly broken by a yell not unlike Tarzan's and Zane suddenly found himself flying through the air watching his fan girls shrink away into the distance. Or, at least, the _majority_ of his fan girls. In the distance behind him Zane heard someone yell,

"No fair, Leanna! _Bring him back!!!_"

It was only then that Zane tried to get a look at his captor. Her curly black hair was pulled back into a short ponytail and the words on her t-shirt read 'I heart Zane.' She was yet another fan girl. She grinned as she noticed him looking at her.

"Isn't this great, Zany? Now I've got you _all_ to myself!"

It was just too much, Zane couldn't help himself. The normally stoic, calm, collected and above all _silent_ duelist threw back his head and let out a wail.

"_**NOOO!!!**_"

(In a second floor room in the Abandoned Dorm)

The small group of teachers huddled together miserably, occasionally casting nervous glances out of the room's one window in case some fan girl was trying to sneak up on them again.

"It's time," the head of the Ra Yellow dorm announced, straightening up a little from where he'd been sitting slumped against the wall, an untouched bowl of chili on his lap. "We have to make the call."

"Are you sure?" asked one of the other teachers unhappily. "It couldn't possibly be as bad as all that…."

The Ra Yellow master merely shook his head, an air of resignation in his voice.

"No, there's no use for it. We can't leave it any longer. We have to call," he bit his lip and sent a nervous sideways glance at his fellow teachers before letting out a long gusty sigh, "Mr. Kaiba."

_A/N: Okay, who'd I miss? I know I missed some people's requests in there – if one of them was yours, please let me know! As for _GinaxAlvissForever_, yes Shizuka was in this chapter – you just don't find out his name until the next. And _Alexis Serenity Cornilius MOON_, your fan girl already has a guaranteed part in the next chapter – it just didn't fit into this one. _

_If anyone has any new fan girl requests, just drop me a line! Also anybody got any cameo requests for cast members from the original series other than Kaiba? If so, just let me know! Thanks for reading!_


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